3 Months!

Dear Bulbul, 

Kudos to us! We've reached the 3-months milestone.

This month V and I became very rebellious and took you over to the beach. Guess how you responded to being taken there? You had an absolutely wonderful and relaxed sleep. You You didn't give a damn about the noises, the rising sun, or the cold breeze, and slept peacefully. I just hope you grow to love the beach more. It's one of the best things in Chennai, and we'd love to take you there often. 

We went to the Miniroo exhibition that happened this month at the Crowne Plaza. That place is every kids' heaven. I guess the kids knew it, because despite the crowd and the noise and so many little and not-so-little kids and toddlers in the hall, there were hardly any cry outs or tantrums. The expo had all kinds of  kids products right from cloth diapers to dresses to accessories to shoes and healthcare products. My sole purpose of going to that expo was to get a baby carrier, so that we can carry you along like how a Kangaroo carries its baby. I wanted to try it once before purchasing it outright, and this expo happened just at the right time. V decides to try it first with you and guess what, you settled in pretty cosily and slept off. And thus, the carrier was purchased. I managed to take you out for walks with it only a couple of times due to lack of adequate time. Hoping we'll go more places with it !

Icing on the cake was, as we came out of the expo, guess whom we meet! CSK's very own Thala and Chinna Thala.. Dhoni & Raina. 

The biggest milestone of this month is that you recognize people. That is, you understand when somebody is trying to interact with you and what more, you respond with your billion dollar toothless smile. And the very first time you did that to me, it sure was a "kannula-thanni-vechunda" moment. 

You don't sleep even if you're mildly wet. You keep twisting and turning and if nobody notices all that, you finally let you a couple of koin-koins, which we usually take as a sleeping cue, but when you constantly let out koin-koins every 5 seconds, it finally dawns on us to check if you're wet. It's really sad that you'd have to use only koin-koin for everything you need, be it food, sleep or just some attention. I'm slowly becoming a pro in understanding your cues, but sometimes it becomes a tough game of guessing and I get lost and clueless. But hey, don't you worry, this shall soon change as you grow. 

You love when people lift you by the arm and make faces at you swinging you up & down.  You can't contain your excitement and laugh ever so cutely. Now that you've grown a little, you've started demanding that we hold you over our shoulders and take a walk around the house so that you can see various things, trees, people and smile at random things as if you both had a great conversation.

You always wake up with such joy in the morning that it is as if you telling me, "Ma, it's a beautiful life, come let's enjoy!" Gives me immense pleasure to see you like this and that morning smile instantly makes my day.

You love curtains and keep smiling at them all the time. Also, you're so attracted to lights. Staring and laughing at them is your favorite passtime. 

Lastly, from blowing raspberry bubbles, you've started drooling over saliva. One jollu party you are. You're busy learning the art of putting hand in mouth. Sometimes, the entire hand, sometimes a couple of fingers. But everything is always left. Be it the side you turn your face, or the fingers you put in the mouth or the cycling of legs. Left is always a priority over the right for you, leaving me to wonder what this is going to mean!

And that's the gist of your 90 days life on earth. Can't wait for you to grow up, and at the same time, don't want to you, because you're the best at this moment.

Love, 

J 

Baby Talk

An article I read in FB. This is something that I needed right now and every time I feel things are going out of hand in managing the little one. Each line of it will truly resonate with every mom out there. A million thanks to whomsoever who wrote this! 

Dear mama,

Could you wake up for a minute? I know it's hard for you to open your eyes - we haven't slept a lot yet tonight. But mama, I kinda need you right now. You see, the thing is, I feel a bit lonely at the moment. I'm lying here in my crib and I'm somewhat cold.

I didn't mean to cry so I'm sorry I did. I've been trying to get your attention by making some noises for a while now but you were in such a deep sleep, you couldn't hear me. I don't know how else to get your attention. During the day, I see and hear you all make noises and I see you respond well to each other. You talk to me like that too. And I try very hard but I don't know how to do that yet. So I cry so you'd listen to me.

Mama, I'm sorry for crying. Like I said, I feel a bit lonely. I just spent nine months inside your belly where I've always felt safe. It's a bit scary to me to be in such a big bed all by myself. I miss your heartbeat, the rushing of your blood, the warmth and the food. I miss your breathing and your hands you put over me to protect me when I still was inside your belly.

So mama, would you please listen to me? I'm calling for you in the only way I'm able to. I feel really alone. I need your warmth and your peace for a moment. I need to know for sure you're still here. So can I come lay with you for a little while to feel your warmth?

Some cuddles first. Mama, this feels so nice. I feel you holding me while you gently rock me and when I can smell and feel you, I feel so safe. I can feel your hand on my back and my ear is placed just right on your heart. Mom, this is home to me. Do you remember back when we were always together? I always felt like this back then. Sometimes I miss that time. It was so nice to be close to you. 

 When I hear you softly whisper into my ear "Everything is okay little one, everything is fine". Your voice is so soft and familiar. You smell good mom. A bit like me and a bit like you.

Mama, will you hold me just a littler longer? I'm really tired and I feel so relaxed in your arms. It almost feels like before. I'm going to close my eyes for a little while, okay? Can I please stay with you here a little longer to enjoy your love and your presence?

And can I drink some more? Mama, since we're laying like this anyway.. I'd like to ask you something. I know, it sounds pretty sad because I can't talk like you can yet so I'm sorry for crying again. But mama, can I please drink some more? My throat is dry and my tummy is empty and since we're here anyway...maybe I can have a few more sips? Your milk tastes delicious and is so warm and familiar.

Thanks mom, that's exactly what I needed. I was really really thirsty. Your finger on my cheek feels great by the way. And you're smiling at me. Nothing makes me happier than seeing your smile and feeling your presence. I'll close my eyes again, okay?

Please don't put me away straight away, I really enjoy falling asleep here. This feels really good. Can I stay with you for another hour or so?

My tummy hurts. What is that?! Mama! Can you feel this? Mom? My tummy hurts so bad. What is happening? Please help me mama, I don't know what's happening. I've never felt anything like this.

Thank you for rubbing my belly mom. It's late and everyone is asleep. I'm so happy you're here for me. I don't know what I'd do without you mama. My tummy already hurts less and when you hold me like that... I feel pretty tired. Maybe i'll close my eyes again. Please hold me a little longer?

Can I have more cuddles? You won't believe this mama! I'm a bit scared. I just woke up and I didn't know where I was for a second. It was all dark and a little cold again. I know you're tired mama. But I really missed you, can I please be with you again for a while?

Mama, I can see that you're tired. There are tears in your eyes and every now and then a tear rolls down your cheek. I'm sorry mama but I feel really strange in this new world. I miss home. I miss always being close to you.

Sometimes I feel a tear fall on my head while you gently rock me. You're singing me a song so that I can go back to sleep. You softly dry the tears that fell on my head with your hand. That feels nice mom, do that again?

I fall asleep on your chest. You feel so soft, so familiar. There's nowhere I sleep better than here. My legs are pulled up, just like they were back when I still lived with you. I can hear your heartbeat again and I move along with your breathing.

I will learn soon. Mama, you're the best place to be. I'm so glad I get to come to you over and over again.

I don't like being unable to just ask either but I'm really happy you listen to me when I call for you.

Soon, I'll be able to be there for you. Or for my brothers or sisters. Or for my friends in school. You're teaching me how to take care of someone.

You're teaching me that you listen, even when I can't ask. You're teaching me I'm safe, even when sometimes it feels like I'm not. You're teaching me that you love me, even when you're very tired. Thank you.

And mama, I love you.

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