Fun Five!

Don't get fooled by the title, I was just trying to have an alliterative one. I'm rather tired of starting every birthday post with a "Phew-I-can't-believe-you-are-already-five". So, I'm putting this one as "what-an-amazing-year-it's-been". Hands down one of the bestest. I definitely loved all the time I spent with you and cherish them so much, because this shall never repeat. The innocence, the curious questions - why, when, what, how, the joy of living in the present, the pride of being able to do things on your own - both for yourself and for others.

The year started off with a Snake Walk weekend - and this time it included a friend from your school, Kavin. After we had him over for your birthday, and he had us over for his (apparently, both of your birthdays are 5 days apart, albeit you are a year younger) - we asked him to join us for this event, and oh boy, you guys had crazy fun running around the paddy fields, spotting touch-me-nots (this is where the touch-me-not obsession started) bathing in mini waterfalls, and by the time the event actually began, you guys were half exhausted, but nevertheless enjoyed the show.  This was your third time in the walk, and you quite knew how it worked, and enjoyed the whole thing. Kavin being there with you was a cherry on the top! 

And then it happened - something we never dreamt of, even in our wildest dreams - just landed in our lap, like it were literally waiting for us - we moved into CDS, right next door to my parents. It's a dream life for you (of course, for me too!) having both thathas and paatis to shower unconditional love and all their attention whenever you are around. You took to the transition quite happily, as this was place you were already familiar with (my parents & V's cousin have been living in this community for a while now). There were hardly one or two instances in the last 10 odd months since we moved here, when you said you missed the Ram Nagar house. 

Come April, we did another vacation to Goa. Yes, 2 Goa vacations within a span of 2 years. This time though, Ultimate Frisbee was the reason. We had our Masters Nationals in Goa, and thought we could extend it to make it a family vacation, and took along 2 other cousins, who were too kind to take care of you while we were at the games. And in those 7 days, you doted on them so much, and vice versa. This was also the trip you unleashed your boredom as hunger chiming an "I'm hungry ma, I'm hungry ma" at the slightest hint of boredom. This was also where you finally agreed to eat Dosa with Sambhar, and eggs in burji form rather than being boiled. We had finally bade a goodbye to carrying quick foods for you. Phew! That's a definitely a game changer - because it's been pushing you to try new foods, which you eventually ended up liking. 

Once back home from the trip, and with 2 months of summer holidays ahead, we enrolled you for swimming classes. Swimming has been one skill that I strongly believe every person should learn - a life skill it is, and opens up so much of the world for exploring (given 70% of earth is covered in water, lol). It was an hour long class every day of the week except Sunday, at 3pm in the noon. You really enjoyed the class, thanks to the master, and started picking up the skill slowly. By the end of June, you were able to jump into the 3-4ft pool and swim its width on your own without any support. I was definitely proud. But things took a turn, once school reopened. The class timing didn't fit as you were quite exhausted from school and it was bang during your nap time, and the distance was also a factor - 20min drive from our home, you'd sometimes doze off right halfway through the drive. We felt it was too much of a stress on you, and decided to give the classes a break, and we still continue to be on the break. I've been meaning to check another pool nearby, but keep procrastinating - may be by the next summer vacation, all over again. Let's see! 

Your energy levels are insane and it's quite hard to manage you inside the house and hence, we have enrolled you in a music class (our neighbor has been kind enough to take you in as his pupil) and some karate and yoga in a small play school right behind our apartment. You love the music class because a handful of your friends from the apartment are there with you and basically you enjoy singing a lot. Your music taste is super varied, right from Carnatic and Devotional to cinema/album folk / kuthu songs, you enjoy them all - with the same love. Oru Naalil and Poren Naa Poren are the ones that we have named as practice songs, and you have either been hearing or singing them almost every other day and know them by heart now. Your Kaathu Mela Kaathu Keezha singing in a recent family wedding garnered so much of fans within the family. I'm so glad you enjoy music.

Your first movie with your school friends - Inside Out 2. It was mommy and kids day out with 5 of your classmates. The movie, I felt, was a little overboard for a 4-year-old, because this one was mainly about teenage and the emotions associated with teens. But you guys nevertheless had a ball of time wrecking the theatre, hogging buckets of popcorn, and running around with each other. Phew! It was quite a task to watch the movie with your constant questions and distractions. 

With September, came our (V & me) Australia trip. Yes, it was just me and V travelling for 15-21 days without you. You were in the custody of your grandparents and boy, you were stunning. You got through those 15 days like a breeze, except for an occasional 'I miss you ma, I miss you pa' - thanks to the weddings in the family that happened during this time, you got to meet a lot of cousins and relatives to spend time with. Honestly, I did miss you too, more than I would care to admit, and we definitely understood we can't go out on another such long trip without you, you'd definitely bombard us with a lot of questions together with a very convincing answer as to why you should be taken along as well. I still remember the way you asked me "enaku en ma Australia ku visa edukala?" when we said we were gonna go to Australia

Another place that I'd been taking you quite a few times is the Anna Centenary Library - hoping you grow to enjoy books as much as I do. The fact that you are able to read stuff is making you curious much, and you try reading a lot of nameboards, vehicles, posters, anything and everything. Writing is also on the cards, but you ain't really keen about it and find it very boring. Thankfully though you are able to decently write, and we are trying to make you write about your day, a meek attempt at journaling. It's fun reading what you write, given you rely heavily on phonetics for your spelling. Takes us a while to figure out what that word means, but honestly, we are in awe at the ease with which you are writing.

I had wanted to introduce you the world of jigsaw puzzles, and thanks to my friend who gifted you one late last year - it was a 30-piece puzzle, and I could see you intrigued ! We slowly ventured into 35, 40, 60, and 100-pc puzzles. You love our trips to Untangled, the house of puzzles. We also got you some board games, and you are now hooked to it and want to play it with anybody and everybody that comes home for a visit - akkas, annas, chitappas, chitis, any one trying to have a word or two with you ends up with Forrest Run (a board game that we recently got) laid out in front, before even they know it! 

You enjoy the late evening / night cycling around the apartment, and until about a month ago, you rode the bicycle with the balance wheels on. We had removed one of them, about 3-4months ago, but you weren't quite sure and okay to remove the other one. But one fine weekend, hit with a little boredom, we decided to remove the other one too, and booom.. in 15 minutes you started riding like a pro! I was stumped at the speed with which you were able to adapt to cycling without balance wheels. Great job kid! 

You really know your people well, i.e. whom to go for what. On things that me and V wouldn't normally approve of, you conveniently reach out to the grandparents and get it done. But I can also sense that you do not abuse this option. You happen to be quite smart in picking your battles and when to use the trump card. You are quite strong willed and unless you genuinely believe you had made a mistake, it's super hard to get you to apologise. If you inadvertently cause a physical hurt to someone while you were rushing through something, you promptly chime in the apology without any nudge from anyone. 

I'm really glad for all the people you have and share a bond with in your life. You are such a people person. It's been an absolute pleasure seeing you grow kiddo. 

Happiest 5th birthday! Here's to more growing up, exploring new places, and of course, loads of music!

Love,

Amma

Happy 4 to us!

Dearest boy, 

Every year when I sit to write this post, I try re-reading the last one, and I'm so glad that I wrote it, because there are so many things that I seem to have forgotten now, and it really helps refreshing my memory (a kutti self-appreciation for myself for documenting these - these are my biggest treasures) 

The year began with our 9-day road trip to Goa in car. Yeah, we did it boy! That long road trip which V desperately wanted to do finally happened during the 2022 Christmas holidays and 2023 New Year. We took along my brother and another cousin of mine. It was an amazing trip - one which each one of us will cherish forever for various reasons. And you were rock solid throughout the trip - absolutely enjoying the drive, the beaches, bike rides, boating. I think your favourite part of the entire trip was the beach baths every evening in South Goa - where you'd sit in the shore digging the sand for shells, with the wave splashing against the lower half of your body. Every evening we'd spend an hour that way and go over for an early dinner. You mostly survived on French Fries, plain rice, some days chapathi / bread, and curd. Of course, Cornflakes and milk were your non-negotiables - we had taken along a supply of the cornflakes and thankfully, milk was available everywhere. One of the weirdest habits of yours is - you eat the cornflakes dry and then gulp down a glass of milk. You'd never approved of cornflakes being soaked in milk (until last week when you have started demanding the cornflakes to be doused with a generous portion of milk). 

We have been taking you to the Decathlon once in a while and let you ride around there in the cycles, and guess what, you self-upgraded from riding the scooters and balance bikes to riding a proper cycle with balance wheels. I was a bit surprised that you didn't think twice before taking that cycle and starting to ride it. Somehow you knew, you could ride it. V tried really hard to make you ride a cycle directly without balance wheels, but I guess that's hard, and we might have to go the usual way of riding with the balance wheels for a while before you make the switch to a proper cycle with just two wheels. 

You had your first official summer holidays for 2 months this year, and we were so lost on what to do to keep you engaged and stay away from the screen as much as possible. We couldn't plan out a proper vacation this time, so we got you enrolled in a week-long summer camp. Though you were initially excited to go there - on the first day, the anxiety kicked in. After 2-3 days you were mostly fine. They kept sending us pictures of the kids at class and you were so excited to see them every day, which sort of stayed as motivation for you to keep going 

As the school re-opened again, we waited with bated breath to hear those golden words, a.k.a the letter telling us that you'd be staying in school till 2:30pm, i.e. full day (till then it was only 8-11am). As your teachers from the prior year had changed, it took even longer than we anticipated, and it was only after 3 months that you finally received the letter. Nevertheless, it was a big moment. You were as excited as us to take your lunch to school and settled into the full day school quite effortlessly. With regards to finishing off your lunch, I can only say, there are good days, and not-so-good days. Training myself to take it one day at a time.

This year has been the biggest burst in terms of the oral communication - language - English, to be precise. You generally enjoy talking, but until very recently, your talks were mostly in the native language, Tamil. And now, it's taken a full 180-degree shift to English. Not sure what brought about this sudden change - the school, or your friends, or the television - but simply put - you walk English, talk English, live English! Admire how you painstakingly try to communicate every single thing in English and pause to ask us how something needs to be communicated when you don't know to. 

Thatha and you are still an inseparable combo, spending a lot of time every evening in the terrace or the car parking chasing / shooting imaginary Spidermen and Spiderwomen. That brings me to your biggest craze of the year - SPIDERMAN! Ever since you learnt about this character, you've been going bonkers about it. Jumping around and landing with a palm on the floor, releasing webs into the space, and what not. Batman, Antman, Captain America, Iron Man, Hulk are also in the league, but Spiderman is your most favouritest. Paati once got you a spiderman dress and you wore it every single day for one straight week and we'd to hide it away to make you stop wearing it all the time. You've started appreciating cartoons and know a handful of them now, ranging from Paw Patrol to PJ Masks to Minions and Peppa Pig. Muddy puddle jumps excite you, and whenever there's rain, there'd be a small puddle of water (on the cemented floor) in your school campus where you and your gang of friends would keep jumping around, only to get a little wet and go about having your clothes changed.

Music is still very much a part of your life, and you have your own playlist of devotional songs to make you sleep. The first ever cine song that you were trained to sing (purely by way of repetitive hearing) was the story stanza of Dada song. You absolutely enjoy watching as well as singing it. This year also saw the introduction of gaana songs, such as Salomiya, Kathadikudhu Kathadikudhu and new numbers such as Naa Ready and Hukum - where you don't hesitate to use your own words to align to the tune when the lyrics aren't understandable.

We went on our first long train journey to Pune and you thoroughly enjoyed it. It was a week-long vacation in Pune and Mumbai where your best times were had with Simba (the retriever), Double Decker bus rides, Zenith Waterfalls, Gateway of India boat ride, Pragathi Express Vistara Dome, Local Train journeys, Airport Lounge Food, and of course how can I forget - Alexa. The first time you saw it at Adi's home, you were shocked to see it respond to people's commands, and that became your very cue. You'd so cutely go to Alexa and say - Alexa, please play Kathadikudhu Kathadikudhu and Alexa would apologize for not having that song in its library and play another Deva song for you. 

And lastly, December began with the infamous Chennai Floods. With power, and network completely down, people didn't have a choice but to come out of their homes and talk with fellow beings. Thankfully the damage to our home was minimal, and we survived those 3 days without power with much less stress. And in those three days, you and all the other kids at the apartment definitely had one of your best times getting undivided attention from everyone. Thankfully things returned to normalcy within a week. However, your school was closed for almost 2 weeks, and it's only this week that you'd returned back to school. It's definitely evident that you enjoy your school and being with your friends, as you always come out of the class happily. Honestly, so glad about that.

Happy birthday, Boy! To more wonderful times, and joyful conversations!

Love,
Amma

Happy 3 Champ!

Dearest Athi,

It's been 3 years since you stepped into this world, and boy, time flies. You are no longer that squishy-squashy tiny goofball, but a fully blown young toddler, with a mind and choices of his own. 

This year, you started school. It sure was a testing time for me as you took 2 months to settle. There'd be the going inside whimper, sudden cries in between the class time remembering us, coming out and checking if were waiting outside the gate - so many different portrayals and iterations of separation anxiety. Phew! I was tired. But then, slowly you came to terms with the scenario and started enjoying going to school. And now, you have your own set of friends, sing a lot of songs that you listen and learn there. 

If there is one thing that has been a constant since the beginning, it's definitely got to be your love for drums. There were quite a few wedding events that we attended this year where you were inseparable from the Thavil and Nadaswaram musicians. It so happened that once Thatha Paati took you to a Wedding Reception, but you went there and declared it wasn't a wedding at all, as there was no Thavil / Nadaswaram. You have a sweet spot for Thavil, and often keep wearing sketch pen covers onto your fingers at home, in the same way that the Thavil musicians wear their finger accessories. 

This year also saw the first time you stayed overnight at my parents' home without me / Venky. I was overwhelmed at the way you answered to my desperate pleas to hold you back. I was anxious that we might need to wake up in the middle of the night and bring you back home, but you handled it really well. That night I really did feel you were grown. 

You started riding the various cycles at both the houses (parents and in-laws) with so much ease and speed. From pushing the cycles to using the pedals to drive, you have come a long way. There isn't a day that passes without the cycle, and it gives you immense opportunities for pretend play - such as going to the shop and buying the vegetables. Annachi is your favorite character. And anybody who'd be interested in joining your pretend play has to be the Annachi.

Doctor visits this year were a little too frequent owing to the intermittent wheezing, cold, coughs and HFM. But you were so well behaved when we met with the doctors that they were quite surprised and pleased. I used to dread giving your medicines earlier as you didn't want to have them, and rebelled so much, but even that has changed now - you are very cooperative. There are certain prohibited foods at the moment, such as sweets, chocolates, bananas, etc. - so when we do say that you can't eat them, you are mostly acceptive of it and hardly make any tantrums. You are a good kid!

You listen and talk so much now. I'm simply in awe at the way you remember things. I keep wondering what is this brain man - how does it remember so much, while I'm struggling to remember even the basic things. Once somebody promises or tells you something there is no going back in their words, you refuse to accept those changes. Like for example, if V tells that he'd take you to school in Car on a certain day, it's really a tough job to convince you to come with you in bike that day. You keep repeating - Appa car la kootitu porenu sonnale - you don't let it go.

You make it a point to communicate your preferences very clearly, and a No means No! We may beg, plead, force, mildly scream - but nothing works. At the most, the No changes from a No to May be Later, but definitely not a Yes. So, the only way for us is to put with it and try a workaround. And most often than not, it works. 

You like little kids and caress them so well. There are 2 little kids in the apartment - you engage and play with them really well. There was one particular day where I left you over at their home (on your own) to play with the kid and came back after a while to bring you back home. Oh, so many such little instances where I feel you are growing really fast. 

Lastly, one thing that I'd always be thankful to the moms of school friends is sending me the videos of their kids eating on their own. That was the final push that was needed for you to start eating on your own. So, for the past 1 month, you at least have one meal a day on your own. Your food preferences have hardly changed - the handful of additions being eggs, adai, chapathi, radish, pasta, pooris. Poori being your absolute favorite. The sides though always constant - sugar, ghee and naatu sakkarai - and all the three of them together. You don't agree even if we skip one of them. As long as you eat the main dish fully, we are good. 

Happy birthday again, Champ! 

Love,
Amma

2½ Years!

Dearest Athi,

The last post I wrote about you was way back in Aug 2021. I missed out on your second birthday post - Sorry. I wouldn't miss out anything going forward. 

There is so much of catching up that needs to be done from where I left off in my last post. First of all, your talks. You started speaking out words as you neared 2 years of age, and in the next couple of months, your vocabulary has grown immensely well, and these days you keep talking non-stop. You are well versed in Tamil, and know quite a few words in English. There was this one instance where your answer to a random question I asked, completely bowled me over. I was stunned at the way you understood the question and gave the reply in an instant. 

(Scenario - Lying in the bed, trying to make him sleep) 

Me: Bul, ipo nee enna panlam'nu nenachitu iruke?

Athi: Amma, na ipo TV pakalam'nu nenachitu iruken.

There was no stopping you after this. You pretty much knew what you wanted, and always made it a point to make the other person, who was listening to you, understand what you are trying to communicate. The tinge of mazhalai in the speech is oh-so-cute. Whenever you are involved in self-play, you keep talking random stuff with yourself. These days there isn't a time when we see you silent, except for this one thing - no, its not sleep, this is different - Listening to stories.

If there is one new trait that you have very recently picked up, its got to be listening to stories. Not exactly sure how the transition from listening to songs to listening to stories during sleep-time happened - it was something pretty abrupt if I remember it right, but so glad it happened. Because songs were usually played on phones, but stories have to told by us, humans. You get transfixed and watch ever-so-keenly when someone recites a story or sings a song to you. You pester for stories every time someone is trying to make you sleep and it has to be a new story every time. You keep asking - Amma th(k)adhai sollu, pudhu thadhai.. (You are not able to pronounce 'ka' as yet) and refuse to sleep unless we say something. But in 5-10 mins of the story telling (story making) you get drowsy, and doze off. There have definitely been more days where I have slept off mid-way telling you stories, but you don't seem to mind and doze off on your own in a little while. There have also been days where you wake me up if I dozed off asking for more stories.

Another thing to point out exclusively is, you sleep through most of the night, and hardly ever wake up asking for Milk. This has been one of the biggest milestones, personally for me. The midnight milk runs are the most dreadful ones, because we lose sleep over it. These days you either demand milk before you sleep off at night, or you drink one, only in the morning. Your night wake ups are limited to asking - amma madi..amma madi.. and climbing on my lap and dozing off there. As I try to fidget around in my sleep, I realize my legs are heavy and remember you sleeping on it, and have to roll you over onto the bed. This has been a regular occurrence, but since this doesn't really impact me much, I am quite fine with it, at the moment. 

Your Thatha craze has reached new heights, and you want him, only him, for anything and everything. Right from making you brush, taking you to the loo, feeding, bathing, dressing up, going out, sleeping. You are so happy around him, and wouldn't want to leave his side ever. All the love you shower on him is definitely all the efforts he has taken. He keeps you engaged almost all through the day, involving you in almost everything that he does - watering plants, running grocery errands, visiting relatives, and never says a "No" for anything you ask (this one is a bit tricky). You and him are always one team, I feel so glad that you guys have each other.

The food struggle is real. You are on a great rejection spree and reject almost everything that we offer you, almost all through the day. Its becoming a bit of a force feeding. Its only during times when you are unbearably hungry that you eat whatever that is offered to you. And there are also once-in-a-blue-moon kind of days where you demand you need this and eat it happily when its offered. Ghee, Butter and Sugar are your staples. Sugar - the one food that we want to introduce ever so slowly has become your first love, thanks to Thatha. And surprisingly you do seem to like Cheese and enjoy a bite of Cheesy Dosas once in a while. The rest of the food intake are mostly mood-driven.

Your love for parks has grown sizably well.  You love the slides the most, especially the round ones. From fearing to slide over it a year and a half ago, to climbing the stairs and sliding down without a tinge of hesitation, you have really grown. Thatha takes you the park almost once a week, and then when you go to my parents' place, there is small park with slides inside the apartment complex where you spend most of the evenings. You have also started doing a fair bit of cycling. The Decathlon balance bike is your absolute favorite. You love vrooming around on it within the apartment complex at my parents' home. 

Car -the one word that you keep repeating almost all day. 

Car saavi enga? Enga porom? Car la poroma, bike la poroma? Car la paapa mattum thaniya front la ukandhukren. 

Saying that you are crazy about car is an understatement. You are obsessed with it. You enjoy the rides and refuse to share the front seat with anyone but Thatha. In the recent past, we have started taking quite a lot of auto rides, and you do seem to enjoy that as well. I guess, movement makes you happy, be it car, bike, auto or even cycle.

You went on your first flight trip (to Meghalaya) and first train journey to get your head tonsured. You enjoyed both these trips immensely. Your reaction to you getting your head tonsured was such a sweet surprise to us - you didn't make a flinch when it was getting done, in fact you were as excited as us to get it and done and enjoyed it thoroughly, and admired your mottai so much.

You are going to school next week, and I am an anxious wreck. You are quite excited about it and we have been preparing you up for it for a long time now, but still I am worried the way every mom would be. Hope you have a great time there. I will definitely pen down how your first day at school looked to me next week.

One with the mottai!

Love,

Amma

20 Months

Dearest Athiboy,

I skipped the 18 months timeline for my post, hence, writing this now when you arw almost close to 20 months. Time is literally flying, but only for you. When the whole world is almost in a standstill because of Corona, you seem to be growing and learning new things. This phase of your life is truly engaging and joyous. Watching you do all the things that you have learnt by observing us, is a real joy. 

After about a month or two walking around with the Nadavandi you switched on to walking on your own. Well, special thanks to V, as he was the one who initiated it, by making you stand a foot away from me and letting you go, so that you'd just do a thathakath buthak walk without support and reach out to me. (It reminds of the way people helped me swim in Nagala during one of the treks). After we kept doing it for a couple of times, you got the hang of it and started walking around. For the first 2 weeks, you'd walk only when you wanted. Neighbors in the apartment would literally beg you to walk while in the mottamadi (in the evenings) but you wouldn't budge, and would simply go around crawling on the floor. Slowly but steadily you understood walking was more fun and less of an hassle than crawling and you shifted on to walk. There was no stopping you then. These days, you run like crazy from one room to the other in the house, in the car parking and the mottamadi, anywhere and everywhere. There still some slight unbalance and  you do fall quite a few times everyday, but that will only stop you for 2 minutes at the max, when you demand an ice pack, and then you are back at running again. Your energy levels are unmatchable. 

Fishes are something that you really enjoy watching. You demand that the lights on the fish tank (at home) be turned on every time you look at it. You also mimic trying to feed them food, the way Thatha does everyday. Observation skills on point! There is a small fish pond in the apartment complex that my parents live in, and you have never missed to stop and admire them, every time we go to visit them. Also, fish is probably the first set of words from your mouth after amma, appa, enna, etc. And yes, its not fish, its ish for you, F is silent. (or rather F is hard to pronounce)

If there is one thing that can make you sit down in one place for more than 5-10 minutes, its got to be the books. We have a decent collection of books for you, some bought and some gifted. You seem to enjoy flipping through those, and by now, are able to identify quite a few things. We have almost established a night time book reading routine. I am glad you like books. There is a whole world out there in the books which I really don't want you to miss, and I wish you'd like books as much as I do, as you grow.

If there are two things that have not changed almost since the beginning, it has got to be your love for Bathing and Drums. Both of them are your utmost favorite things. There have been numerous times when we have taken you to the bathroom to get only your hands & legs washed, but ended up bathing you. And what more, these days you demand you need your bath tub while bathing. We got you a small bath tub when you were about 4-5months old, and always bathed you in it. But there are days when we'd want you to have a quick bath, so we don't use your bath tub. But in the recent days, you have made sure we always use only your bath tub while bathing you. If not, you keep calling out "ab...ab...", pointing out to it all the while until we bring it over and put you in it.

As for Drums, its something that comes naturally to you, and something that you enjoy seeing / listening to. Our latest favorite is the Violin & Flute cover of Ottagatha Kattiko. The joy on your face when you see that thumbnail on the TV and realize that's the song we are going to play is unmatchable. You have also started enjoying songs like Life of Ram, Unnaku enna venum sollu, for the visuals, especially the fishes, birds, amazing locations. 

We have finally put an end card to our breastfeeding journey at about 18 months. The weaning itself was quite challenging initially, but slowly everything settled in. Thanks to you, for liking bottled milk and a huge thanks to mil who was more than happy to have you sleep with her so that we wean. 

Your food choices are almost similar to my very own, only difference being your indispensable love for curd. I am not much of a curd person per se, but you seem to li(o)ve curd. Its always curd with idli / dosa / upma / rice or anything for that matter. Its your first and only choice. The way you lick it off the plate or cup is so adorable (except for the fact that I have to bathe you once more for all the mess you create and become). Your fruit intake is quite low, but that's matched up with an overflowing love for carrots and potatoes or any vegetables for that matter. Carrot, I guess owing to its bright orange color, seems to be your favorite in veggies. Till now, you are not much of a fussy eater, and mostly happy with whatever we feed you, which is a real savior for us. There have, however, been days when you refused everything but curd, but thankfully they were just short phases.

You love bike and car rides, and don't think twice before jumping into the arms of anyone who offers to take you for a ride. We did go out to a lake sometime last month. Though you love bathing at home, you simply refused to set your foot into the water there. I think we might need to take you there more often to help you like that place and enjoy the waters. A friend had a small inflatable boat which he had brought to the lake, and you loved sitting on the boat with V and rowing around in the water. From that day on, whenever you spot a boat or a raft or anything floating in water with a person, you immediately assume it to be V and point to it and call out Appa - its been a kannula thanni vechunda moment for V.

Lastly, thank you so much for coming into our lives. Your little antics and actions make our every day interesting and joyous. Its really wonderful seeing you grow.

Love,

Amma

11 Months!

Dearest Athiboy,

You are just one month away from being a year old. I tried reading my older posts and started feeling nostalgic, because so much has changed since then and keeps changing all the time. One of the biggest changes is, the transition from the so-called social bird to a kid who gets a little scared when meeting new people. You are a happy kid in your home ground, but once we cross it, you tend to be a little worried and cling on to known faces a little more than usual. In home ground, you call random people on the road and laugh, smile and interact with them as if you'd always known them. But outside home ground, your usual self takes a backseat and you are quite tensed and worried.

Your smiles are no longer toothless. You have 4 teeth now, 2 up and 2 down. You have learnt to bite things, like toys, spoons and waterbottles. Yet to start biting people. 

This month, you have started to lift yourself up and stand with the help of support or by holding onto sofas. I simply can't forget the number of times you kept trying to lift yourself up from the ground. Despite failing each time, you kept trying day in and day out, and you still keep trying to lift yourself up without any support. Just another couple of weeks / months after which I think you will be completely on your own. 

Day naps still continue to be a challenge, but people at home have almost gotten used to your pattern of sleep and things are comparatively better than the initial days. Nights are surprisingly becoming smoother and easier. I'm a little too skeptical to rejoice at this change for the fear of you going back to your old ways again.  

You seem to have seen a lot of cows and dogs on the road and seem to jump in joy when you spot them. And what more, whenever you see a dog, you make a cute sound (almost similar to the ju..ju..ju..) as if you are trying to interact with it. 

Oh, and one more thing that I observed this month was, you have learnt to squeeze the rubber toys, the toys with a whistle in them. We had been having that toy ever since you were 3-4 months old, but its only now that you have learnt to squeeze it hard enough to hear the sound. And the look of accomplishment on your face once the sound comes, pah, chance eh ila!

You are legs boy, i.e. anything at all that you play with will be taken in your hand and then placed between your legs for playing. You absolutely love when you are able to create sounds. So your most favourite thing to play with is drum (We have a mini Djembe at home, given to Venky by a friend of his) and next in queue is utensils, waterbottles and bells. And how do you play the Djembe? Only by supporting it with your legs. It's the single most thing that seems to give you immense pleasure anytime. Be in whatever cranky mood or sleepiness, the sight of the Djembe will instantly bring a smile on your face. 

We introduced Poochi a.k.a Dragonfly to you sometime this month, and guess what, you wanted to catch hold of it and play with it. Curious little fellow you are. Always interested in anything and everything. 

Diwali went by, and we both had an amazing time gazing at the numerous fire crackers that lit the sky from our terrace. We spent almost 1-2 hours turning our heads trying to catch a glimpse of the colors on the sky. You liked the sparkles and the flower pots too, but you most enjoyed the night shots only. You got a little shocked when you heard bombs that burst nearby, but didn't cry inconsolably at the constant sounds throughout those two days, which was quite surprising. 

You are growing more inquisitive day-by-day which is very visible in your eyes, and quite soon you will start putting your curious observations into questions. Ah, I just can't wait to see all that. I am really excited to see you grow kid. 

If there is one thing that has changed in me in all this time, I seem to invariably see you in every kid that I come across on the roads, or shops or anywhere at all. I can't help but wonder when looking at kids older than you, on how would you be at that age. When looking at kids younger than you, I remember how you were at that age. My mind seems to be so full of you, most of the time. I have totally fallen in love with you Athiya!

Endrendrum, 

Amma

10 Months!

Dearest Athiboy, 

You complete 10 months today. As I write this, I see you cutely sleeping at 7pm (Note to self: its going to be a midnight party) after tiring yourself out with almost 4 hours of non-stop play. 

Your sense of understanding and responding to people has grown immensely in the last few months, and in the last few days its been very visible. You know when people call you, when people point at something and ask you to look at it, you look and you exclaim in joy if its something that you like. And when people come over to you and ask whatever you have in hand, you respond and give it to them. I wonder how you have observed, understood and learned these.

You love all things moving. Right from moving cars to a flying bird or airplane. Moving things with light is your best mood cheerer, like, cars with lights at night, aircraft's light. Oh, how much you jump around in joy seeing them. Its a sight to cherish. Whenever you get bored of being inside home, you demand to be taken out on the road or to the terrace. Its only with seeing the cars or the birds that you fall asleep during the day, else day time naps are non-existent. For the last few days, you refuse to go near your Thatha when you're almost sleepy knowing very well that he might put you into sleep. If he takes you along even after your refusal, you start twisting and turning your face on his shoulders and eventually he lets you down on the bed and you start playing as if you had just woken up. So Thatha has accepted defeat and now, its Paati who is making you sleep during the day.

One thing that has changed quite significantly in the past one month is, you have known to identify me very well, and almost want to cling on to me whenever I am around. If I pass by you without acknowledging or playing with you, avlodan. You almost start crying. And off late, whenever I let you down or hand you over to anyone else, there breaks an almost instant cry, with tears streaming across the cheeks. And even during the nights when you start crying out in sleep, you refuse to stop crying even when V lifts you, but the moment I take you up in my arms and rock, you seem to slowly soothe down. This all feels so weird to me. I am in that stage where I am not sure if I should be happy that you like me so much, or worry that you are becoming a clingy baby.

Your naughtiness is growing by each passing day. And a couple of days ago, you crawled into the kitchen and opened up the drinking water tap, letting the water flow and started playing with it as if you were bathing. You want to go anything that is on the floor, and play with it, and put it into your mouth. Its becoming quite a task to stop you from putting things into your mouth and moving out things that could be dangerous for you out of your reach.

You are slowly getting used to meeting your cousins and relatives, and have reduced your panicky cries on seeing new people a little, and try best to respond to and play with them. This month beach trip was with your cousin, but you were so sleepy and a little too disinterested (may be because this was the first time the beach was sunny ever since we started going) and slept off midway. 

If there is one thing about you that drives me mad these days, it's the scratches and pinches you inflict upon us when we try to make you sleep. How many ever times, I cut your nails, they still seem to be quite sharp and eventually everybody at home have scratch marks in the neck and the arms. Isn't there an end to this?

You are quite an independent player and most often play on your own, when even if I insist on joining, you don't give a damn and continue on your own. Ball throws is one of your favourite game, and you love playing it with anybody. 

Looking forward to more fun times and less scratches from you,

Love, 

Amma

9 Months!

Dearest Athiboy, 

You are 9 months old today. This phase of life with you seems to be one of the bestest till date. You play and respond to people when they do something to entertain you. People always want to be around you and similarly, you enjoy people's attention. It gives you a high which you exhibit through your roaring laughs (sounding like a lion's garjanai) 

You are the Thatha's pet and Thatha is your pet, because he is the one who takes you on rounds in the terrace or the car parking and holds you in his arms and stands by the gate as you stare at every passing vehicle turning your neck, left and right. You simply love his attention. Especially when you are playing at home in the floor and Thatha just walks past or gets up from his chair for something, you immediately see him and plead with him to take you along wherever it might be. If at all he goes off without taking you, avlodan...your pleading turns to a desperate cry, seeing which Thatha will run over to take you along. 

These days all you want to do is. play... play... play. You have got bored with all the toys that you have (Even though I make it a point to keep rotating the toys we give you), so you have found other ways to keep yourself engaged by playing with random household stuff. You love water bottles, tap and play with them, to the point where the lid eventually comes open. Your tissue pack is another thing that you love, mainly for the sound of the plastic cover that gets crushed when you hold it. On days when we buy vegetables and sit around to sort them, you play with them. But your absolute all time love is utensils, primarily because of the sound (noise to us) they make. You seem to enjoy the clanking sounds and get more excited and keep banging them again and again. Kind of torturous to the ones sitting near you, but they don't try to snatch it away from you for the fear of you getting disappointed. 

I am amazed at the sharpness of your eyes, for you go around touching and attempting to lick the tiniest of dirt bits on the floor. Somebody has got to keep their eyes on you all the while when you are playing about. 

You have started to sit comfortably (when you're made to sit) without any support for a good 5-10 minutes, after which you slowly fall off onto the sides. For the last one week you have been constantly trying to lift yourself up with your knees. Every time you roll over you want to try to lift yourself, but you can't hold on in that position for more than three to four seconds, but still you try doing it all the time.

You have learnt to understand a few phrases and actions and respond appropriately. Like, you clap your hands when we ask you to. You give a cute hi-fi when someone raises their hand for one. You tend to recognise when people call you and turn around to see who it is and what they're doing. 

Your reserve your best reactions when you see me / dad or anybody at home for that matter, after a long gap, i.e., more than a couple of hours. You just jump at them and become all konji-konji and give your trademark laughing garjanai. It's always a sight to cherish. In the morning, once you wake up, you just want to jump into your Patti's arms and tour the whole house, as if you're seeing it for the first time. In the noon or evenings when I come out for a break from work, you'd want to jump on to me and demand to be taken either to the terrace or the swing in the car parking area.

Your journey with food is taking amazing turns with each passing day, together with a lot of adamance and begging. Adamance is refusing the food prepared for you, begging to be fed the food we eat. You love to experiment with new tastes and once we did try feeding you a lemon. The expression you gave when you took a lick of the juice was priceless, and guess what, you wanted to keep licking and giving the same reaction.

In this month's new song find, we've bumped into one of the Super Star's hits. It happened one day when Thatha was randomly humming the "Oho Oho" tune of the Kicku Yerudhe song from Padayappa and you just started laughing. From then on, every time someone hums that song, or it's played on the TV, you flash your biggest, no longer toothless, grin. Yes, it's high time I stop calling you toothless because one small front teeth has finally made a sneak peek into the outside world. 

You take your own sweet time to interact with people, and get a little panicky and scared if a large group of people not known to you come over and play with you (apparently, it was his cousin sisters who desperately wanted to play with him, but he got too scared of having too many unknown people around at the same time and started crying). 

Our newest entertainment is a sitting swing, gifted by a dear neighbour. You love swinging in it and play ball throws from it. This swing has conveniently replaced the usual Thooli, as you absolutely refuse to sleep in it off-late. You get so angry when we put you in the Thooli and cry your lungs out even though you are quite sleepy. These days we make you sleep only through a couple of rounds of walking in the car parking area, and then swing for some time. Gone are the days of making you sleep in the legs or thooli. Day naps are in two extremes. One is either sleep through most of the day, or don't sleep at all. The surprising element here is I'd never know which day would be what. It's impossible to find out a pattern. Nights are quite manageable, because my body and my mind has become your friend, and can cater to your requests without having to wake myself up fully. (Poor V still hasn't got completely used to your middle of the night disturbances and struggles with his sleep)

Our beach routines are still going strong and you seem to liking the place, the water and not to forget, all the attention and random antics of the strangers who spot you there. 

To more lemony adventures and beach hopping

Love,

Amma

8 Months!

Dear Athiyan, 

You are only 4 months away from turning an year old. You are growing taller and naughtier by each passing day. Gone are the days when V held you up in one hand. You just cannot be held in hands any longer. You'd have to be lifted and rested either on the hips or with your face over our shoulders. And once somebody lifts you, they have to move around, because if they don't, you make weird noises and shake your legs, urging them in your own cute way, to move. 

Now that you know quite well about all that is in the house, you are getting bored easily with the usual stuff and demand being taken either to the terrace or to the swing downstairs or the road. While on the roads, you keep turning your neck on the either sides, a thousand times to see every vehicle passing by until it goes out of sight. If by chance we go stand near a plant / tree, avlodan, that poor plant will be dead, because you want to hold and eventually pull it off and take it with you in your hands. 

You almost detest sitting on someone's lap unless there is something for you to play. You love to stand (of course, someone has to hold you while you stand. Not on your own yet) all the while, even though your legs can not hold on more than 40-50 seconds at a stretch and make you fumble. You sit down for a couple of seconds, and are back up on the feet again. And oh, you love standing by the fish tank, banging on the glass with all your might (which unfortunately is still like a gentle tap on the glass) and watching the lights, the bubbles and the little fishes moving about.

Your day naps are dwindling by each passing day. You have started rolling over in the thooli these days. You push the cloth near your face with one of your hands (the other hand would be busy inside the mouth) and sneakily look out at the people outside and throw in your cutest smiles. Or put out your legs out of the thooli, almost as if you are going to get down. I believe its only a couple of weeks before you are going to fall out of the thooli yourself. I have already started hunting the house for cushions / small beds to be put under the thooli, so that you can have a smooth landing when you fall. After all these shenanigans, you doze off to 30-45 minutes nap. Some days though you sleep undisturbed for 2 hours straight during the day, which makes me a little worried about that night's sleep.  

Your night sleeps are completely different game altogether. Its a surprise everyday, something I cannot yet predict or figure out a pattern. Putting you through the first course of sleep is the toughest challenge which takes anywhere between 45 mins to an hour easily, its quite manageable post that. Some nights are very calm, with you sleeping for 3-4 hours at a stretch, while on others, you wake up crying every two hours. Sometimes, you move about with your eyes closed searching for something with your hands, and slowly grab either the AC remote or the nearest toy and use it as pillow and sleep. 

Once you wake up, you need people to watch you, if the ones beside you are sleeping with their backs turned to you, you make it a point to tap them constantly and wake them up, as if to tell, hey buddy, come on, wake up, even I'm awake! And the moment they turn around and look at you, you act as if nobody exists near you and talk to the ceiling. You're crazy like that. 

I can see two big developments this month. One is, you recognise people and have registered their voices. When someone calls you, you search around the place to find that person. Two, you have learnt to try looking at things that people ask you to see. Eg. If I spot a bird in the terrace and point it out and ask you to see, you look in that direction. Also you've learnt to clap with your hands, and even do it when ask you do it, a couple of times. 

From constantly rolling over to grab the things, you've graduated to moving like a worm to grab them. You still are yet to learn the art of crawling fully. It's only now that when you roll over, your right toe has touched the ground and you have started to move about slowly to grab the things that are in front of you. You have an attraction to all things other than toys, like, water bottles, your nappies, baskets, balloons, tissue box, and utensils. 

If you're in a great mood, which is either mostly after a good nap or when you're travelling out, or after food, you smile at anybody and everybody, neighbours, even random strangers on road. Especially when you're travelling in car, you love to look outside, and if some person cared enough to look at your side, you flash such a joyous smile, which instantly makes them smile back at you. 

Your konjals are mostly in the form of face slaps, and cheek / neck pinches or licking / biting the shoulders of the person holding you. Sometimes you do this even to the neighbors who come over to just play with you. Your evenings, after the terrace time, are spent at Subha Akka's (neighbour) house staring at the digital clock or beating on the stools, and conversing in your "Aaaaa" and "Ooooo"s with Subha Akka. 

You have started saying "tha tha tha" and other random words these days. Your drool though, still hasn't reduced at all, and continues to come out in litres. Also, anything you grasp is still first tested by putting it into your mouth. 

After a 6 month long break, you were finally back at the beach, and this time you absolutely enjoyed it. Though I am not too sure if you enjoyed the beach waters as much as you enjoyed watching the crows and dogs moving about on the shore.  I am sure you didn't hate it, because you were in your absolutely best self ever all the time ever since left home for the beach and came back home. Not one bit of tantrum or cry. Hoping we continue the beach tradition every month going forward.

Looking forward to growing with you. 

Love, 

Amma

7 Months!

Dearest Athiboy,

Before I begin writing each month's post, I make sure to read the previous month's post to remind myself of what all I have written. While doing so this time, I was kind of surprised at myself for having written so much. I don't seem to have too many things to write about this month, because life and the whole world as such is seems to be moving in a pace so slow that even the snail's walk seems faster. So here goes this month's updates -

Foot in mouth - Check! Yes, right after a couple of days since you turned 6 months, you managed to put your toes in the mouth. Reminded me of the good old Gokul Santol Talcum Powder logo. But the real joy lay in seeing you constantly trying it, and how your feet would just wriggle out of your hands most often as you tried to lift it up till your mouth.

I have finally figured out that you have started recognizing me as your mother (This word still makes tremble a little with excitement and anxiety). There have been days when you make a sudden cry while sleeping, and the moment I lift you and put you over my shoulders, you calm down in an instant. I simply can't put in words, the way I feel at that moment, purely priceless. I love the way you give your toothless grin when I come out after work to play with you. All these little happy moments make all the tough times worth it.

Evenings are for Terrace Walks, which you absolutely enjoy. The excitement on your face the moment we put you are made to wear a shirt is a sight to behold. You have a couple of "mottamadi buddies" already, a Thatha from the adjacent flat, the Moringa Tree, and the flat neighbors who come in for a walk in the terrace in the evenings. Spending anywhere between 30-45 minutes, you return back to take a power nap for 30-45 minutes as if you are tired after a whole day's work. 

Finally after 3 months, we are back to my parent's place for 15 days. And guess how you reacted! You see each person and started crying, and the moment I come near you, you start laughing. I wasn't sure if I had to be happy that you'd recognized me or sad that you weren't happy with so many people around. But slowly you started adopting and in the next 2 days, you got used to everyone around and have started playing with anybody who wants to play with you. Putting back on the floor / bed after playing with you is like diffusing a bomb, you either roll over happily or start crying a.k.a demanding you be lifted off the floor again, there is no in-between. Its surprising to know that you realize and understand the warmth of a human touch. Great job there, kid! 

You day naps are a shame to naps themselves, because they last not a minute more than half an hour. Sometimes, the time taken to make you sleep is more than the time you actually sleep. But I am not fully complaining because you sleep during the nights, so thank you! 

You have started sitting with some support, and hence, we have got you a feeding chair. Feeding you food in it is comparatively easier, because you can't really move around in it. Without that, it is a big task to make you sit in one position and feed, because you keep jumping to your feet and always want to keep standing. As for eating, you have started accepting other foods pretty graciously (I'm not sure if that's the right word). Right now, you eat koozh, idlis, mashed apples and bananas, a bit of rice with boiled potatoes, carrots etc. I believe you will grow to like and appreciate food, because you really enjoy eating. Also, nobody can eat their food when you're around without feeling a twinge of guilt, because you simply keep staring at their plate pleading with your eyes to give a portion of it to you.  

As such you are a happy kid, as long as you are not hungry or sleepy, and enjoy your time, rolling around, putting random things into your mouth or trying to lick the floor or having long last conversations with the digital clock.

You enjoy the car rides we take when we got to the hospital for your monthly check-up and I sincerely can't wait to take you out to the beaches and parks and to all your cousins' homes. 

Signing off with the lines of a song that resonates so much with me right now. Its from a tamil movie called Muppozhudhum Un Karpanaigal. A very rough translation of those lines are - At one instant, the mother wants her child to grow up and care for her, but the next second she wants the child to stay as a kid forever. I think this is more of a Mom's Syndrome, and every mother would go through this at some point in time. 

இந்த நிமிடம் நீயும் வளர்ந்து
என்னைத்தாங்க ஏங்கினேன்
அடுத்தக்கணமே குழந்தையாக
என்றும் இருக்க வேண்டினேன்

Love, 

Amma

6 Months

Dearest Bul,

I'm going to use the most clichéd sentence every mom ever does - "Can't believe it's been" 6 months since your birth already. Though the first few months moved in snail's pace, the last couple of months have gone by in a jiffy. 

From a teeny tiny goeey flowing body, with Karasev type hands and legs, you've grown to become a bubbly ball and the thought of gobbling you up is irresistible. (I know, I sound like a cannibal, but the cuteness is too much to handle) It's a joy seeing you grow. How even the minutest and the lamest of the things excite you. Like, the sound of calling bell, the slow movement of ribbons / curtains because of the blowing fan, stainless steel cups & plates, the revolving fan, the neighbor's digital clock, the sound you make with the Thandai when we lay down on floor or try to make you sit in a chair. 

True to the fact that you're growing, one biggest find of this month is to constantly wave your hands or bang the things that you get hold of. You've managed to do the "First official breakage". Banged one poor rattle so badly that it broke into pieces spilling it's tiny pellets that made sounds when you shake it. 

You absolutely love the neon colors, especially the neon orange and green. There are days when you cry your lungs out for no reason (probably, a reason not known to us) but, the moment we show the neon orange rattle you stop crying almost instantaneously. V wonders why you fancy it so much because in his opinion it's one very poorly designed rattle. But you don't give a damn, and love playing it, banging it around to the extent that anybody wanting to come near and play with you think twice before doing it, for the fear of getting hit with it.

One of the things you've picked up recently is, storing a good quantity of saliva in your throat and laughing with it. This makes a grrrrr sound which you totally admire and keep doing when you're really happy and excited. Oh, you also fake cough a lot. Whenever someone near you coughs you instantly cough up too. 

You're learning the art of grabbing stuff. Anything within the range of your open hands is meant for you to grab. You look at it a good few seconds and then jitter your body a little, and slowly bring your hands up from both the sides and grab the thing. And once done, the first thing you do with it is, taste it. Yes, everything you pick up or touch need to be stamped with your saliva before further exploration. 

If there's one thing that V and I have got to learn to live with, atleast for the next couple of years, is to sleep in parts, throughout the night. Sleeping undisturbed for an entire stretch of 6-8hours is a thing of the past for us. It's not that you wake up in the middle of the night and start playing, but slightly different. You start twisting and turning around in your sleep, with eyes shut out completely. That's when either of us have to wake up to ascertain what's up with you. Most often, once we lift you up and rock you, you stop your twistings and hug around and start sleeping. After an hour or so of this peaceful sleep, I lay you back down on the bed. But some days are tough, and you refuse to sleep even with the rocking. On such days, I leave you down on the bed, you open your eyes, keep twisting around for a good 20 minutes, and realise there's nobody there to see or play with you, and drift off to sleep on your own. 

Ever since you started rolling over, you just can't stay upright. These days, the moment we lay you down on a flat surface, you roll over on your stomach in a jiffy. If you aren't sleeping in thooli, you sleep only in rolled over position. You literally refuse to sleep upright. Even when we deliberately lay you upright on the bed, you turn your sides, and slowly roll over and sleep with your face down, with the nose almost always, completely squeezed. 

Bathing is still one of your favorite activities albeit the fact that you no longer stay put. You constantly try to get up from my legs or roll over onto the bathroom floor. You have started to be bathed by both your dad and paati. But you don't really seem to care who's bathing you as long as there's water being poured on you. 

You have been desperately trying to pull yourself up into sitting position by lifting your upper body. (Similar to the way we do crunches) You lift about 3-4 inches off the ground, and then fall back off. I think it'll be another couple of months before you can learn the art of lifting yourself up from the ground and sit. 

The constant kicking of the legs have slowly turned to constant lifting of the legs. You have started to lift the legs up till your stomach and hold it with your hands. I'm really excited to see the day you put your toes into the mouth. That's something I really wish you'd do. 

Next is, FOOD. You've moved from Water to Kanji to juice to Koozh. I still remember the first day we gave you Kanji in the bottle. You drank it up as if you'd drunk this all your life. No tantrums, no spitting (of course, there were some spillage from the sides of your mouth when you sipped it up way too fast, but that's fine). I was shocked, with both happiness and a tinge of sadness. Sad because I will no longer be your sole food provider. From struggling and wanting to quickly get done with all the constant breastfeeding in the initial months, I have come a long way to truly appreciate and enjoy our feeding times. The smile that you'd flash everytime you look at me while feeding is priceless and melts my heart, every single time. 

Juices aren't quite your thing till now. Making you drink them is a struggle in itself. But ther are some days you surprise us by drinking it fully and asking for more. There was one day when we had just one old carrot, and made very little juice out of it, assuming that you'd anyway spit it out. But guess what you did? Drank the whole thing up and as if to appreciate it was tasty, kept clicking your tongue and licking your lips. Your paati was like, "Fresh carrot la juice potu kudutha thoo nu moonjilaye thuppara, pazhaya carrot la potu kudutha super ah iruku nu chappamkottra. Enna da ipdi panra?!"

When you're tired of playing too much and starting to feel sleepy, you let out one big dramatic crying scene with tears flowing down your cheeks. Your dad or me should instantly come to pacify you at this time, else, you don't stop at all. Also, when you're starting to feel sleepy, you demand to be around known faces (which right now is just V, me, Paati and Thatha). If by chance, anybody else tries to lift you and play with you, avlodan pochu! Bang comes the dramatic cry. You did to this my dad when he came over to see you once. Gosh! He was completely shocked. Took us another 15 minutes to calm you down and put you to sleep. But once you got up, you started playing with him as if the kid who cried earlier wasn't you at all. Mahanadigan dawww!!

Your daily terrace outings had made you familiar with most people in the apartment. You don't hesitate to be held by any of them. You have a thing for tall people, (comes from being around V a lot, I suppose) and are almost always ready to go over to any of them. You got to attend your first ever birthday party. It was one of the neighbors kid's birthday and they'd had a small party at their house. Though you were tired because of the lack of proper sleep since the morning that day, you did manage to enjoyed by staring at all the ceiling lights and the numerous lighted balloons flying around. You still continue to be the Social Bird that you were!  

Sleep still happens only with songs playing in the background. Newly added song for this month is Vaa Rayil Vida Polama. (Note: Song suggestions with minimal instrumental intervention are most welcome. Language ain't a barrier at all)

I've resumed back work from last week. Thankfully, it's working from home. But even then it's difficult not being able to play with you or bathe you or just stare at you while you're asleep. You're mostly with your Thatha or Paati these days, exception for a couple of times when I come over and say quick "Hi" to you or have to feed you. Even at those times, I can see you get excited when you look at me. Pah! Those moments are moments that I shall forever cherish. If I were to go to office to resume back work at this time, I'm sure I'd had separation anxiety and had tears rolling down. 

Here's to another couple of months of staying at home and enjoying the times with you. 

Love, 

Amma 

5 Months!

Dearest Athiboy, 

I think I have finally started feeling that time is flying, because you seem to be growing quite fast, becoming all the more cute and irresistible every passing day.

Yayyyy! This month is a Double Dhamkka, as you've achieved two milestones. Firstly, you have FOUND YOUR VOICE. You have realised that you've a voice and keep showing that to us by constantly shrieking with excitement. Generally, 3pm-4pm is your shriek hour. You're at your best at this time, constantly shrieking with joy, kicking your legs and laughing.

Secondly, after what felt like ages for us, but actually has been only 5 months, you ROLLED OVER. You've been desperately trying to roll over by turning to your sides for the last 1 week and finally, 3 days ago, you pulled it off. And guess what, the first time you did it, nobody saw you. I had fed you and put you in the bed to play, and had gone over to do something outside signalling V to keep an eye on you. He was busy with a work call and once that got over, he turned around to see you banging your face into the bedspread, dripping a mouthful of drool on my phone, and almost started shouting at me for leaving you that way unattended. It took him a couple of moments to realise that you'd indeed rolled over on your own. Well, great job kid! I'm impressed by your determination and how you didn't give up trying  continuously for one whole week before you actually rolled over.  

You sweat a lot. So much sweat that the cloth in which we lay you down always get wet where your back touches it. Given the Chennai summers, these days, you are most often moved into either of the air-conditioned rooms of the house and almost refuse to sleep when you don't have enough air.

As much as you loved thooli last month, you've absolutely ditched it now, main reason being it's in the Hall, and not in one of the air-conditioned bedrooms. You've grown to sleep either in the carseat-cum-rocker and mostly sleep only while listening to songs. This month's new favourite songs being Chellamma Chellamma and Amaidhiyaana Nadhiyinile. If you're half asleep and there's a change of song, you immediately open your eyes and kick your legs to listen on what's going to be played next. And once you realise it's just another of your usual songs, you slowly drift off to sleep.

Your nap times range from anywhere between 20 minutes to 40 minutes at the most, except for one big nap, either late afternoon / early evening. Its one nap I totally enjoy (for my own selfish reasons), because I lay you over me, and hug you around and both of us enjoy a good sleep for 1-2 hours. Sometimes, I try to put you down thinking you are in deep sleep, but the moment your body touches the bed, you start stretching, twisting and turning & wake up in 10-15 minutes.

You have been introduced to the world's magic potion called "water". Though the first week was more of making weird faces and spitting, you have slowly started to like it. You happily gulp down a couple of millilitres, after a heavy shrieking session. 

You're mostly a happy-go-lucky kid, and your cries for food or attention has always been subtle. One of the reasons being, there are always people around you who jump in to pacify on your slightest whim. However, this month we put our first surprise visit to the Paed one evening, because you cried non-stop for 20 minutes scaring your Thatha so much so that he literally dragged us to take you to the doc right away. But by the time we stepped out of the house you stopped crying and acted all chamathu in front of the doctor, making us wonder why did we take you there. Turns out you had colic, which could've caused a stomach ache, making you cry in pain. You occasionally throw in that high decibel-closed eyes cries when waking up from sleep, but with people lifting, patting and talking to you, you slowly open your eyes. Once the eyes open and scan the surroundings, the cry changes to smile almost instantaneously. 

If there's one good thing about the COVID lockdown, it has be the Work-from-home option for V. He's lucky enough to see you grow, and spend a good amount of time with you. He's your terrace partner. Almost 3-4 days a week, he takes you out to the terrace in the evenings. Walking around with you over his shoulders, occasionally stopping by near the Murungamaram and watching you get all excited as the leaves sway with the wind. You love playing with your sleeping dad in the mornings. Every morning, the routine goes like, I wake up, you wake up; I feed you, you half sleep, I put you down next your dad asking him to keep an eye on you. And guess what he does? He doesn't even open his eyes (of course, he wants extra sleep) but instead gives a finger of his in your hands. You hold that tight, play around with it, try to put it in your mouth (but mostly fail to), laugh and talk to it, while your dad conveniently stays in sleep all the while (if you ask him, he might deny this saying he wasn't sleeping, but just keeping his eyes closed).

In these 5 months, I have seen myself change so much. My love for you has definitely grown over this time. From the initial days when neither of us understood what the other person wants, I've grown to understand you slowly. Its sometimes a guessing game, where occasionally I do fail, but most times, I succeed in guessing what exactly bothers you, be it sleep or hunger or just some human touch. 

As much as I love my job and have been desperate to get back ever since the start of my maternity leave, I've started feeling a little concerned that we'll not be able to spend so much time like this together anymore. I think the separation anxiety has kicked in for me. But no matter what, I will always love you Bul. Hope you do too! 

Love,

Amma

4 months!

Dear Athiyan,

You've got through 123 days of life on this planet and I truly hope you're enjoying it.

The fourth month has gone by pretty fast. We've made the shift from my parents home to V's home. I was really surprised at the way you took to this change. You hardly batted an eye. You took to the change like a fish to water.  You were brought here in your sleep. You woke up once, nursed and slept. And finally after 5 hours when you woke up, you started playing as if nothing had happened.

While your maternal grandparents are still struggling to cope with the emptiness there with your departure, you're busy keeping your paternal grandparents here on their toes all the time. And what more, they're always ready to oblige to you. 

Gone are the days of your mindless self-entertainment, now you demand attention. When you're put in the bed and there's no one looking at or playing with you, you become quite restless and start grunting. You only stop when somebody comes over and does some antics and you instantly smile. And that smile slowly changes into a desperate request for them to lift and hold you. 

You've grown a lot and you no longer fit into your dad's arms. Also, you keep placing your foot on anything that gives you a grip (like people's arms, legs or the walls) and leap upward. Your head has set and you love turning it around and looking at everything when somebody holds you up. With a very bright yellow-orange dancing duck, your grandma has finally managed to make you turn your head to the right. Still, left is your first preference, but slowly and steadily you do turn to right once in while, or when somebody tries to interact with you. 

Your love for lights has only increased more. You spend most of your evenings interacting (aka making random noises and laughing) with the various colored lights in the ceiling and the light in the fish tank. 

You enjoy bathing, and absolutely love it when you are poured water. Right at the end of fifth minute out of the bath, you demand to be put to sleep, leaving us with very little time to dress you up.

You seem to like only rough-and-tough games where you're literally being squeezed out. The way you laugh when V does a lift-and-freefall can vouch for how much you enjoy it. As much as V loves doing it, you love being the recipient of it. But along with that hysterical laugh comes a ton of drool. You're a drool factory currently. If the drool doesn't automatically come out of your mouth, you deliberately put your hands / fingers into your mouth and take out another ton of drool. Half the day is spent wiping out your drooling face. 

Making you sleep has become a herculean task these days and most often is preceded by full-on crying and pulling of your hair. You've a certain way for sleeping with each person and refuse to sleep otherwise. Like, if your paati is making you sleep, she has to put you on her lap and rock. If it's me, I'll either have to put you up on my shoulders or in my legs. If either of us change our usual ways, you get visibly irritated. Whosoever tries to make you sleep, this song should invariably run in the background. 

Our best bonding time is while you feed. Though you've become quite playful, the way you flash your toothless smile once your stomach is full is priceless. That is something I shall forever cherish. 

Your whole world revolves around 3 rooms and occasionally the terrace.  With the Corona pandemic and lockdowns everywhere, we were unable to take you out anywhere. Hope we'll go more places, (if not more, atleast to the beach) once things settle down.

Love, 

Amma

3 Months!

Dear Bulbul, 

Kudos to us! We've reached the 3-months milestone.

This month V and I became very rebellious and took you over to the beach. Guess how you responded to being taken there? You had an absolutely wonderful and relaxed sleep. You You didn't give a damn about the noises, the rising sun, or the cold breeze, and slept peacefully. I just hope you grow to love the beach more. It's one of the best things in Chennai, and we'd love to take you there often. 

We went to the Miniroo exhibition that happened this month at the Crowne Plaza. That place is every kids' heaven. I guess the kids knew it, because despite the crowd and the noise and so many little and not-so-little kids and toddlers in the hall, there were hardly any cry outs or tantrums. The expo had all kinds of  kids products right from cloth diapers to dresses to accessories to shoes and healthcare products. My sole purpose of going to that expo was to get a baby carrier, so that we can carry you along like how a Kangaroo carries its baby. I wanted to try it once before purchasing it outright, and this expo happened just at the right time. V decides to try it first with you and guess what, you settled in pretty cosily and slept off. And thus, the carrier was purchased. I managed to take you out for walks with it only a couple of times due to lack of adequate time. Hoping we'll go more places with it !

Icing on the cake was, as we came out of the expo, guess whom we meet! CSK's very own Thala and Chinna Thala.. Dhoni & Raina. 

The biggest milestone of this month is that you recognize people. That is, you understand when somebody is trying to interact with you and what more, you respond with your billion dollar toothless smile. And the very first time you did that to me, it sure was a "kannula-thanni-vechunda" moment. 

You don't sleep even if you're mildly wet. You keep twisting and turning and if nobody notices all that, you finally let you a couple of koin-koins, which we usually take as a sleeping cue, but when you constantly let out koin-koins every 5 seconds, it finally dawns on us to check if you're wet. It's really sad that you'd have to use only koin-koin for everything you need, be it food, sleep or just some attention. I'm slowly becoming a pro in understanding your cues, but sometimes it becomes a tough game of guessing and I get lost and clueless. But hey, don't you worry, this shall soon change as you grow. 

You love when people lift you by the arm and make faces at you swinging you up & down.  You can't contain your excitement and laugh ever so cutely. Now that you've grown a little, you've started demanding that we hold you over our shoulders and take a walk around the house so that you can see various things, trees, people and smile at random things as if you both had a great conversation.

You always wake up with such joy in the morning that it is as if you telling me, "Ma, it's a beautiful life, come let's enjoy!" Gives me immense pleasure to see you like this and that morning smile instantly makes my day.

You love curtains and keep smiling at them all the time. Also, you're so attracted to lights. Staring and laughing at them is your favorite passtime. 

Lastly, from blowing raspberry bubbles, you've started drooling over saliva. One jollu party you are. You're busy learning the art of putting hand in mouth. Sometimes, the entire hand, sometimes a couple of fingers. But everything is always left. Be it the side you turn your face, or the fingers you put in the mouth or the cycling of legs. Left is always a priority over the right for you, leaving me to wonder what this is going to mean!

And that's the gist of your 90 days life on earth. Can't wait for you to grow up, and at the same time, don't want to you, because you're the best at this moment.

Love, 

J 

Baby Talk

An article I read in FB. This is something that I needed right now and every time I feel things are going out of hand in managing the little one. Each line of it will truly resonate with every mom out there. A million thanks to whomsoever who wrote this! 

Dear mama,

Could you wake up for a minute? I know it's hard for you to open your eyes - we haven't slept a lot yet tonight. But mama, I kinda need you right now. You see, the thing is, I feel a bit lonely at the moment. I'm lying here in my crib and I'm somewhat cold.

I didn't mean to cry so I'm sorry I did. I've been trying to get your attention by making some noises for a while now but you were in such a deep sleep, you couldn't hear me. I don't know how else to get your attention. During the day, I see and hear you all make noises and I see you respond well to each other. You talk to me like that too. And I try very hard but I don't know how to do that yet. So I cry so you'd listen to me.

Mama, I'm sorry for crying. Like I said, I feel a bit lonely. I just spent nine months inside your belly where I've always felt safe. It's a bit scary to me to be in such a big bed all by myself. I miss your heartbeat, the rushing of your blood, the warmth and the food. I miss your breathing and your hands you put over me to protect me when I still was inside your belly.

So mama, would you please listen to me? I'm calling for you in the only way I'm able to. I feel really alone. I need your warmth and your peace for a moment. I need to know for sure you're still here. So can I come lay with you for a little while to feel your warmth?

Some cuddles first. Mama, this feels so nice. I feel you holding me while you gently rock me and when I can smell and feel you, I feel so safe. I can feel your hand on my back and my ear is placed just right on your heart. Mom, this is home to me. Do you remember back when we were always together? I always felt like this back then. Sometimes I miss that time. It was so nice to be close to you. 

 When I hear you softly whisper into my ear "Everything is okay little one, everything is fine". Your voice is so soft and familiar. You smell good mom. A bit like me and a bit like you.

Mama, will you hold me just a littler longer? I'm really tired and I feel so relaxed in your arms. It almost feels like before. I'm going to close my eyes for a little while, okay? Can I please stay with you here a little longer to enjoy your love and your presence?

And can I drink some more? Mama, since we're laying like this anyway.. I'd like to ask you something. I know, it sounds pretty sad because I can't talk like you can yet so I'm sorry for crying again. But mama, can I please drink some more? My throat is dry and my tummy is empty and since we're here anyway...maybe I can have a few more sips? Your milk tastes delicious and is so warm and familiar.

Thanks mom, that's exactly what I needed. I was really really thirsty. Your finger on my cheek feels great by the way. And you're smiling at me. Nothing makes me happier than seeing your smile and feeling your presence. I'll close my eyes again, okay?

Please don't put me away straight away, I really enjoy falling asleep here. This feels really good. Can I stay with you for another hour or so?

My tummy hurts. What is that?! Mama! Can you feel this? Mom? My tummy hurts so bad. What is happening? Please help me mama, I don't know what's happening. I've never felt anything like this.

Thank you for rubbing my belly mom. It's late and everyone is asleep. I'm so happy you're here for me. I don't know what I'd do without you mama. My tummy already hurts less and when you hold me like that... I feel pretty tired. Maybe i'll close my eyes again. Please hold me a little longer?

Can I have more cuddles? You won't believe this mama! I'm a bit scared. I just woke up and I didn't know where I was for a second. It was all dark and a little cold again. I know you're tired mama. But I really missed you, can I please be with you again for a while?

Mama, I can see that you're tired. There are tears in your eyes and every now and then a tear rolls down your cheek. I'm sorry mama but I feel really strange in this new world. I miss home. I miss always being close to you.

Sometimes I feel a tear fall on my head while you gently rock me. You're singing me a song so that I can go back to sleep. You softly dry the tears that fell on my head with your hand. That feels nice mom, do that again?

I fall asleep on your chest. You feel so soft, so familiar. There's nowhere I sleep better than here. My legs are pulled up, just like they were back when I still lived with you. I can hear your heartbeat again and I move along with your breathing.

I will learn soon. Mama, you're the best place to be. I'm so glad I get to come to you over and over again.

I don't like being unable to just ask either but I'm really happy you listen to me when I call for you.

Soon, I'll be able to be there for you. Or for my brothers or sisters. Or for my friends in school. You're teaching me how to take care of someone.

You're teaching me that you listen, even when I can't ask. You're teaching me I'm safe, even when sometimes it feels like I'm not. You're teaching me that you love me, even when you're very tired. Thank you.

And mama, I love you.

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